SATIRE | 5 Masks to Help You Combat COVID-19 This Summer
SATIRE
Finding the right mask can be difficult. With so many to choose from, it's easy to get discouraged. Fortunately for you, the editors at CRIT-LARGE have found the five best face masks on the market to help you combat COVID-19 in style this summer (and maybe for eternity)!
The Vader
For those looking for full coverage and an opportunity to rule the galaxy, the Vader is an excellent option. It may come with a hefty price tag, but it's all relative when your life's on the line.
*Mild discomfort with daily use.
The Snorkel
This mask is great for those who still want to be recognized but are incapable of not touching their eyes, nose, and mouth, and have a family trip planned for Galveston later this summer.
If efficiency is what you’re looking for, this is a safe bet.
The Bag of Shame
Spent all your money on groceries from Whole Foods and can't afford a proper mask? Just place their paper grocery bag over your head and voila, COVID-19 protection!
With this option, you can even put pen to paper to let people know you're happy with your financial decisions!
The ‘I’m Not Being Kidnapped, I’m Just Cheap’
Whether you’re running in to place an order or just picking-up curbside, this mask is a price-effective option for those who need quick protection and still have a few things to fix around the house.
Two birds, one stone!
The Board-Up
While not a face mask, this method guarantees that you won't get the virus or burden those in your community with the possibility of getting it.
Sometimes, your being locked away is what's best!
—
Stay safe, peeps!
